Mothering During COVID-19

As I write this, I am watching the USNS Comfort sail into the west side of New York City. I am seeing photos of a hospital being set up in Central Park, one of my favorite places in the world. I am reminded of 4 little boys climbing on the big rocks there and swinging on the swings. And I am wondering to myself, when and how is this going to end? I long to go for a walk in that park with my best friend and hope for the day I can do that again.

Then I think of all of you, stuck at home with newborns, and maybe an older sibling or two. Trying to homeschool a kindergartener, while back to work as well. And you're nursing that baby, which would be challenging enough if that was all you had to deal with.

When I look back on my life, the only thing that compares to what we are going through now is September 11th. The current death toll has now surpassed that horrific day. The vast majority of you were children on that date, and probably never gave a thought to how your mothers were managing. And if that is the case, your Mom did a damn good job. Just as you are doing now, I am absolutely certain.

Your children are loved. They are well fed, with a roof over their head. They are with you, the main source of stability in their lives. Their anchor in this storm. I am certain you feel they are watching too much TV, playing too many games, or glued to an iPad. They are not eating enough fruit and veggies. Yes, you are ready to lose your mind, and your temper is short. Your character as a mother is being tested minute by minute. And this adversity is not building your character, it is revealing it. If you stop to take a moment to observe yourself in this situation, I am confident you will realize you are doing an amazing job. You are not perfect, but your character is strong. You are fighting daily for the health of your family, doing the best you can with what you’ve got and the situation you’ve been thrown in. I am very proud of you. I know how hard that is.

You should also know that out in the world, amazing things are happening every day. I am out and about daily, still seeing patients. Everywhere I go, people are smiling at me and waving. Families are out walking together, while keeping their distance from everyone they encounter. People are working in grocery stores, CVS, and the post office, trying to keep our lives humming along as best as possible. Someone I adore is working to keep our elections honest and on track to happen as scheduled, which has never been more important than it is now. Restaurant workers are cooking for us when we just don’t feel like making one more meal. There are heroes everywhere. You are one of them. Please don’t forget it! You have the most important job in the world. You are doing it under great duress. And you are doing it well. I am supremely confident of that!